The Wisdom Of A Hair Stylist’s Daughter

Having grown up in numerous salons my lovelies, I’ve been fortunate enough to learn some of life’s most valuable lessons in a setting where — as a woman, and the daughter of a hair stylist — I feel most at home. Some of my earliest memories are of the smell of hairspray and perm solution and the joy of being the center of attention as a crowd of loving faces told me how cute I was and how much I looked like my mom and/or dad. I know for most,  hair salons are just a place people visit once or twice a month to blissfully relax, beautify themselves, and gab freely with their therapist stylist, but for me, they’ve always been my favorite playgrounds. I visited the shop nearly everyday of the week and everyday there was a new adventure to be had! I was probably that annoying kid who sat next to you and talked the whole time your hair was being cut, or who sat there in contemplative (creepy) silence and watched you get your hair done, or the especially evil one who stopped your session twenty times by going “Momma! Momma look at this!”

But it wasn’t all fun and games I can assure you. Sometimes major life lessons were learned going to work with my mom, and today (considering I’m visiting the shop) I feel like sharing some of these lessons. Hopefully they enrich your lives with their sound wisdom and undeniable truth 😉

Let’s begin shall we…

1) The sink is a perfectly acceptable place to launch epic naval warfare.

Image from Google.  Some of the most awesome naval battles have been fought here!

Image from Google.
Some of the most awesome naval battles have been fought here!

With a rag to plug the drain, an intrepid and brave Styrofoam cup, and the spray nozzle to supply the raging oceanic storm and hurricane-like rain, a life at sea is within your reach… Until your mother sees you splashing water clear across the shop in an effort to make the voyage look more realistic, then run…just run.

2) Gossip is the stuff of life.

Image From Google. "Did you hear about...?" "No! But did you hear...?"

Image From Google.
“Did you hear about…?”
“No! But did you hear…?”
“That’s not what I heard!”

Whether it’s from rag-mags, E News, the grapevine, or straight from the horse’s mouth (facebook), gossip is the goods. Be ready to fully explore the sociological, psychological, philosophical, metaphysical, and spiritual meaning of Miley’s (horrid) new hair cut, Bieber’s arrest (don’t care…I just don’t care), and the next-door neighbor’s fascination with garden gnomes *shocked gasp*!

That being said…

3) Everyone you meet in a salon will already know everything about you before you even introduce yourself, including what you should be doing that day.

Image From Google. "So what are you writing today?" "Actually, I'm just on facebook." Uncomfortable silence. "Well how can you get any writing done on Facebook?" More uncomfortable silence. Quietly whispers something that rhymes with duck and clicks off of facebook.

Image From Google.
“So what are you writing today?”
“Actually, I’m just on facebook.”
Uncomfortable silence.
“Well how can you get any writing done on Facebook?”
More uncomfortable silence.
Quietly whispers something that rhymes with duck and clicks off of facebook.

I cannot tell you how many times my mother has introduced me to people and the first thing they say is Oh, the writer! I’ve heard all about you! All the while staring at me as if they know the very secrets of my soul, which they might.

4) It is never permissible to clip the Nail Tech’s brushes with fingernail clippers…ever!

Image From Google. Just don't try it...trust me!

Image From Google.
Just don’t try it…trust me!

I don’t really thing I need to explain this one. Suffice it to say, I’ve done this and it did not end well…

5) The spiral hairbrush is to be avoided at all costs!!!

Image From Google. To this day it strikes fear into my heart just to see this brush sitting out.

Image From Google.
To this day it strikes fear into my heart just to see this brush sitting out.

For the love of all that is beauty, stay away from this brush, it’s the most dangerous thing in the entire shop and if you see it (out of the hands of a trained stylist), RUN! RUN!!!!! It tempts you with its spiral-ness and just waits for you to innocently wrap a tendril of your luscious hair around its treacherous bristles before turning on you and snagging a hellacious knot so badly tangled that it cannot be undone without frantic tears and bitten-back screeches of horror. Over the years, I’ve become immune to the charming allure of this brush and I can now see it for the villain that it truly is.

And there you have it my lovelies, I hope this list was helpful and will make you think of things a little differently when next you visit your stylist! What about y’all, any tidbits of salon wisdom, or stories you’d like to share? Let me know! 😀